One Word: Food

Have you got an issue with telling yourself at least five times a week “I’m going on a diet”, and the next day you see yourself sat in a takeaway eating a cheap, greasy burger with chips? Me too.

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Dieting. It’s hard. It’s not even that it’s actually hard; it’s just the temptation of unhealthy food. Nice food is bad for you and ‘rabbit’ food isn’t. Life’s hard. Once, I decided to become a vegetarian and it lasted, like, two weeks, I was in the cinema with my Mum (cool, I know) and she offered me a hot dog, I completely forgot about my whole vegetarian situation and ate the hot dog and hadn’t even realised until Mum drove us into KFC takeaway, and asked if I wanted anything and I was like “No! I’m a vegetarian, remember?”. At which point she kindly reminded me that I had just eaten a hot dog. I was so ashamed. Not eating meat is murder.

The hardest part of dieting are the advertisements on TV, such as when McDonald’s advertise their weekly new burger, oh, the struggle. ‘Try the NEW Canadian Melt with tender chicken and delicious BBQ Sauce,’ I immediately change the channel or I’d be straight out of the door and queuing in McDonald’s and when they ask “Do you want a large meal?” umm… YES!

Halloween is approaching and I’m now too old to trick or treat, but I swear Halloween was what made me a fat child so I’m kind of happy about that, but at the same time I’m giving evils to my little sisters and my little brother with their bucket of sweets. My excuse to go trick or treating now is the fact that my brother and sisters can’t go alone and sadly, yet fortunate for me, my step mum has broken her ankle so yes, it’s my duty. This year they may be going home with less sweets, obviously not because I’ll be eating them. My favourite sweets have to be drum sticks, Randoms, Haribos (the minion ones!) and so much more.

Talking about events, Christmas is looming and I already can’t wait for Christmas Dinner. I’m going to a restaurant with my family and we get a starter, two mains and a dessert. I don’t know how I’m going to cope. Everybody loves Christmas, if you don’t, are you the Grinch? Christmas is great. Last year, my mum and her partner put an orange in my stocking filler; I don’t know if that’s like a traditional thing parents do. Do yours do it? It’s so weird, I still ate it, so regardless of the dessert, chocolate gift boxes and every other unhealthy food I ate, I definitely pulled it back towards healthy on account of that one orange.

I’ve literally stopped taking my purse to college with me now; only because the cookies you can purchase here are just to die for- better than Millie’s cookies if you ask me. Every time I take my purse out of the house, the money has been wasted on food. I’m not even hungry most of the time, I just want to buy food for when I am hungry and then hours later I’m like I don’t even want that. Best thing is when you forget you’ve bought something, for example a packet of Haribos and you just find them lurking in your bag, hours later, and the world is suddenly a delightful place to live.

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I love Oreos too, not even joking; I spent £18 on mint Oreos on Amazon and they were the best thing that’s ever been delivered to my door, I spent the full afternoon indoors, not that I have a social life anyway, waiting for these Oreos from America. I highly recommend them, don’t be a sucker like me though and see the first pack online and buy it because you can get them for well cheaper, I was just too impatient and bought the first one I saw. Peanut butter Oreos, they’re okay, but I wouldn’t recommend them if you don’t like peanut butter, which I don’t, I just wanted to try them for some weird reason. But vanilla Oreos, they’re like custard creams but nicer. Definitely worth the buy. I want to live in America simply for the amazing foods they have, oh and because everything else is better than living here.

I reckon I could be the next (wo)man VS Food. I love that programme, it’s so fun to watch. Yes, it gets a bit disgusting when he’s got a filthy amount of food in his mouth and he’s trying to get rid of it by drinking water, but I reckon I could tackle the food he has to undertake. He really struggles with spicy food: I wouldn’t. I know it’s nothing compared to what he has, but Nando’s medium spicy sauce is like water to me. I’m like the God of spice. Also, Cake Boss, I love this programme too, I think it’s amazing what cakes they make. The car in the picture is actually a cake, it’s so cool. But sometimes they make cakes that are the shape of burgers and that would emotionally destroy me, it would confuse me so much it’d be like “am I eating a cake or a burger?” and it would be like biting into this ‘burger’ and it tasting like a cake. It would also tempt me to want a burger after eating the cake which would be a heart attack served to me on a plate.

Written by Emily Lea

Sources: Amazon, Shakengolynnwood, Wikipedia.

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